Why Soothing Your Nervous System IS Managing the Crisis (Erica Chidi)
Erica Chidi shares her unique perspective on navigating crisis and uncertainty, drawing from her formative years in post-apartheid South Africa and her work as a doula, author, and founder. She discusses how current global events represent a collective consciousness shift where "everybody's here now," forcing those who previously remained disconnected to engage with reality. Erica offers practical wisdom on nervous system regulation during turbulent times, emphasizing presence over emotional labeling and the critical importance of sleep, movement, and community. She advocates for "narrow and deep" activism—becoming obsessive about one specific cause rather than spreading thin—and shares how her neurodivergent traits, including "chaotic discipline," serve as adaptive superpowers during uncertain times. Throughout the discussion, she weaves together lessons from growing up amid post-apartheid violence with actionable tools for moving through crisis with intention, including her concept of developing an "inner metronome" through personal rituals and the power of treating words as spells that shape our reality.Topics coveredCrisis navigation and nervous system regulation; post-apartheid South Africa lessons for current times; "narrow and deep" activism strategy; neurodivergent strengths during chaos; chaotic discipline and adaptive capabilities; sleep hygiene as non-negotiable foundation; movement for emotional processing; inner metronome development through personal rituals; financial and energetic discernment; local action and community building; words as spells and language's impact on reality; strategic escapism versus dissociation; embracing friction while staying present; creative expression during systemic dysfunction; managing multiple mental health diagnoses while maintaining presenceAbout EricaErica Chidi is a writer, strategist, and health educator with a background as a full-spectrum doula. She’s the co-founder and former CEO of LOOM, a women’s health app acquired by Perelel Health, and the author of Nurture, a beloved guide to pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood. Her work has appeared in The New York Times and Vogue, and she’s been featured in The Cut, Kinfolk, and more. She also spent two years co-hosting The goop Podcast, leading conversations at the intersection of wellbeing and culture. These days, she splits her time between innovation consulting, developing television through her creative studio ISE ISE (pronounced “ee-say ee-say”), and writing Soft Boundaries—a Substack of personal essays, soothing tools, and useful advice for softly exploring your inner world.CreditsOriginal music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.comSound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.comProducers: Holly Whitaker, Adam DayOriginal art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.comSupport the showco-regulation is listener-supported! You can support us by joining our Patreon community patreon.com/coregulationTranscripthttps://www.patreon.com/posts/133600127/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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1:20:17
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1:20:17
Are You Betraying the World by Being Okay? (Elise Loehnen)
Writer, podcaster, polymath, and intellectual synthesizer Elise Loehnen joins Holly for a wide-ranging exploration of how to navigate our current cultural moment with wisdom, nuance, and hope. From her unexpected journey from being the 2nd in command at Goop to becoming one of today's most thoughtful cultural commentators, Elise shares how she maintains optimism while grappling with the full complexity of our times. This conversation weaves together threads of spiritual practice, political engagement, shadow integration, and the essential work of staying regulated in a dysregulated world.Topics CoveredIdentity and Intellectual Formation; Action vs. Contemplation - A deep dive into Richard Rohr's framework of putting action before contemplation, exploring how lived experience must inform our thinking and how to translate vertical spiritual connection into horizontal real-world engagement; The Energy We Bring - Discussion of how our vibration affects what we create, the responsibility of staying regulated during crisis, and why matching others' anxiety isn't loyalty but rather feeds collective fear and regression; Navigating Activism and Writing - Honest examination of the tension between direct action and contemplative work, exploring different roles in social movements and the challenge of maintaining your authentic contribution while feeling pressure to do "everything"; The Nature of Evil - Extensive exploration of M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie," discussing whether evil exists, how shadow work relates to collective healing, and the danger of both denying darkness and being consumed by it; Cancel Culture and Shadow Projection - Analysis of how progressive movements created their own shadow through moral exclusion, the scapegoat mechanism in modern culture, and why we need to reclaim our projected darkness to create real change; Optimism in Dark Times - Elise shares the spiritual experiences that transformed her worldview, her practice of holding both horror and hope, and why she believes we're at a breaking point that could lead to genuine breakthrough rather than breakdown.AboutElise Loehnen is a writer, podcaster, and cultural critic whose work synthesizes wisdom traditions, psychology, and social commentary. Former Chief Content Officer at Goop, she's the author of "On Our Best Behavior" and co-author with Phil Stutz of "Coming Alive." Her weekly newsletter and podcast "Pulling the Thread" explore the intersection of spirituality, culture, and personal development. She reads 50-100 books annually and has become one of the most trusted voices for readers seeking intellectual depth without academic pretension. Based between New York and California, she continues to bridge seemingly disparate worlds of thought into coherent frameworks for understanding our complex times.CreditsOriginal music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.comSound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.comProducers: Holly Whitaker, Adam DayOriginal art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.comSupport the showco-regulation is listener-supported! You can support us by joining our Patreon community patreon.com/coregulationTranscripthttps://www.patreon.com/posts/133600127/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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1:27:27
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1:27:27
Feministing in the Anti-Feminist Era (Amanda Montei)
Producer note: The term 'feministing' was coined by Jessica Vlenti for her groundbreaking feminist blog Feministing.com (2004-2019), which was instrumental in shaping online feminist discourse during the height of feminist digital media.Holly sits down with feminist writer and author Amanda Montei to explore what it means to be Outspoken Intellectual Feminist in what feels like the height of feminist backlash. Montei, author of "Touched Out," opens up about her recent divorce, the collapse of feminist movements, and how she's navigating the intersection of personal upheaval and political crisis. The discussion delves into the challenges of writing under authoritarianism, the exhaustion that comes with constant resistance, and finding hope amidst the acceleration of anti-feminist backlash. Montei shares her evolution from academic writer to cultural critic, her commitment to teaching, and her decision to pivot toward more nuanced and aesthetic interpretations of our moment, rather than offering hot takes. This intimate conversation captures the complexity of maintaining feminist work when the world feels like it's falling apart.Topics coveredFeminist writing in the Trump 2.0; divorce, marriage critique; collapse of feminist media; anti-feminism in liberal spaces; motherhood + patriarchal structures; misogyny in the 2024 election; cancel culture myths; the commodification of feminism; academic vs. public intellectual work; teaching as resistance; personal vs. political writing; fear + surveillance concerns; community building during crisis; the nuclear family as capitalist invention; movement fragmentation; artistic response to authoritarianism; protecting creative work; privilege and responsibility; collective vs. individual action; finding hope in dark times; the exhaustion of resistance work; white supremacy and patriarchy connections; memoir writing and self-revelationAboutAmanda Montei has a PhD in English literature from SUNY at Buffalo and an MFA in Writing from California Institute of the Arts. She is also the author of Two Memoirs and Touched Out. Her essays and criticism have appeared at Slate, Vox, The Rumpus, Ms. Magazine blog, American Book Review, and others. She teaches writing and lives in California. She writes the Substack Mad Woman and is the co-host of the podcast Dire Straights (CHECK IT OUT)CreditsOriginal music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.comSound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.comProducers: Holly Whitaker, hollywhitaker.com; Adam DayOriginal art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.comSupport the showco-regulation is listener-supported! You can support us by joining our Patreon community patreon.com/coregulationTranscriptAvailable on patreon.com/coregulation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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1:21:42
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1:21:42
When Recovery Becomes Another Addiction (with Carl Eric Fisher)
Holly talks w/Dr. Carl Erik Fisher, addiction psychiatrist and author of The Urge, about the intersection of narcissism and addiction in our current cultural moment, and the paradox of how recovery culture itself can create new forms of self-obsession and addiction.Key themes discussed: Living through institutional collapse and staying grounded; Anna Lembke's theory that endemic narcissism drives peak addiction; distinguishing between grandiose vs vulnerable narcissism and trait vs process narcissism; how 12-step programs were designed to deflate powerful men's egos but modern recovery often demands constant self-optimization; the difference between false refuges (money, power, status) and true refuges (community, spiritual connection, service); "ontological addiction" as attachment to fixed self-concepts; Carl's forthcoming book on self-control thru various forms of losing control; the need for healthy narcissism vs toxic self-obsession; navigating recovery in era that demands constant self-performance.About Carl Eric FisherCarl Erik Fisher is an addiction physician, bioethicist, person in recovery, and author of The Urge: Our History of Addiction, named one of the best books of the year by The New Yorker and The Boston Globe. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and elsewhere. An associate professor at Columbia University, he draws from his academic studies, clinical work, and personal experience to explore addiction, self-control, and flourishing at the Substack newsletter Rat Park.Carl's Substack newsletter: Rat ParkCarl's book: The Urge: Our History of Addiction available at Bookshop.orgCarl's website: carlerikfisher.comCarl's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/flourishing-after-addiction-with-carl-erik-fisher/id1581713114CreditsOriginal music by Gracie Coates of Gracie and Rachel @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.comSound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.comProducer: Holly Whitaker, hollywhitaker.comCo-Producers: Adam DayOriginal art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.comSupport the showco-regulation is listener-supported, made possible by us and by you; you can support this podcast by joining our Patreon community patreon.com/coregulation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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1:16:14
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1:16:14
How to Stop Caring About What Everyone Else Thinks (Emily McDowell)
Holly reconnects with her friend and former podcast co-host (Quitted) Emily McDowell for a raw conversation about how extreme adversity can strip away everything that doesn't matter and reveal what does. After years of health crises, family loss, and business transitions, Emily describes arriving at a place of No Fucks Given that feels like coming home to herself. Together, they explore what it means to build real community, trust your body's wisdom, and stop proving yourself to the world.Topics covered include how selling her business and facing health challenges (brain tumor, autoimmune thyroid condition) led Emily to question everything; the impact of her mother's sudden death on her relationship with money, work, and pleasure; Holly's parallel journey of family awakening and learning to trust her body over her mind; practical strategies for building intentional adult friendships with agreements and conflict resolution; the difference between self-love and self-friendship; why real community is inconvenient but necessary; discernment in relationships without guilt; and the shift from constantly striving to arriving in your own life.About Emily McDowellAs an advisor, thought partner, and coach, Emily McDowell helps entrepreneurs answer the questions they can’t find the answers to. As founder and CEO of the stationery brand Em & Friends, Emily led the brand through explosive growth, and as a writer and illustrator, her work has gone viral countless times, and she has a decade-plus long track record of creating products that make people wonder if she’s been reading their diaries. Emily is also the co-author and illustrator of There Is No Good Card for This: What to Say and Do When Life Gets Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love (HarperOne, 2017), and she offers unsolicited advice and missives from the great adventure of midlife in her newsletter, Subject to Change, a Substack Featured Publication of 2023. You can find her online at withemilymcdowell.com, and IRL in Portland, Oregon.CreditsOriginal music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.comSound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.comProducer: Holly Whitaker, hollywhitaker.comCo-Producers: Adam Day, Afton SwenorOriginal art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.comSupport the showco-regulation is listener-supported, made possible by us and by you; you can support this podcast by joining our Patreon community patreon.com/coregulation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
co-regulation is a podcast hosted by Holly Whitaker (HOME, QUITTED) that creates space for authentic conversations about how we're navigating this period of societal upheaval and profound transition. Through conversations with thinkers, artists, and experts, informed by Holly's perspective on addiction, recovery, and the intersection of personal healing and cultural systems, this show invites listeners into real-time exploration of how we're living through unprecedented change—not as isolated individuals, but as interconnected beings whose nervous systems regulate better together than apart.In the aftermath of the 2024 election and accelerating pressure on our social systems, the limitations of the American experiment have become impossible to ignore. Every day exposes the myth that we can solve collective problems through individual achievement, consumption choices, or personal virtue. We've inherited a story that places the burden of global salvation on our individual shoulders while the architects of collapse profit from the fallout.co-regulation emerges from Holly's direct experience: when consumed by the pressure to fix broken systems personally, she becomes incapacitated. Her nervous system remains in perpetual fight-or-flight. But when she connects with others wrestling with the same questions, something shifts. Our bodies literally calm in each other's presence. Solutions emerge not from heroic individual efforts but from the space between us.This podcast acknowledges that we're at the end of an era defined by extraction, dominance, competition, and separation. We're being forced to move toward each other—to find collective solutions, to rebuild ways of existing harmoniously with the earth and each other. The path forward isn't through competition or meritocracy but through connection, mutual aid, and collective sense-making. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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