Same Shit, Different Mom

In this episode of the 'Same Shit Different Mom' podcast, we're talking about handling power struggles with your kids without losing your cool. Sharing personal stories and expert advice, we dive into why control and connection are key, how your own unmet needs can affect your parenting, and some easy-to-follow tips to stay calm during those tough moments. We look at real-life scenarios like bedtime battles and daily instructions to give you practical tools. Plus, there's a free guide to help moms understand their triggers and manage those intense emotions better. 00:00 Introduction to Power Struggles 01:24 Understanding the Need for Control 03:34 Common Scenarios of Power Struggles 04:33 Mastering Emotional Reactions 10:58 Effective Strategies and Tips 18:31 Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Control 22:13 Preventative Measures Get the Free Cycle Breaking Moms' Guidebook

You know those moments when the stress builds up, and before you know it, you’re yelling at your kids and feeling out of control? In this episode of Same Shit, Different Mom, we’re tackling a topic that so many of us experience but rarely talk about—mom rage. It’s not just about losing your temper—it’s a signal from your nervous system and your subconscious. In this episode, we’ll explore the real causes of mom rage, the emotions it’s masking, and how you can begin to break the cycle of reactivity with practical tools and self-compassion. Tune in for a transformative conversation that will help you parent with more calm, clarity, and connection. Highlights: [01:44] - The Experience of Mom Rage [03:46] - The Nervous System's Role in Reactivity [04:53] - The Emotion Behind the Anger [07:55] - Overwhelm and Unmet Needs [09:14] - The Role of Guilt and Shame [13:14] - The Impossible Standard of Motherhood [17:43] - Real-Life Example of “Mom Rage” [18:47] - Self-Reflection and Releasing Unrealistic Expectations Grab my FREE Cycle Breaking Moms’ Guidebook Get on the Priority List for Motherhood Alchemy

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood or judged by older generations for how you choose to parent and the struggles you face, this episode is for you. I sat down with my curious boomer parents for an open conversation about the evolution of parenting styles across generations. In this episode, we touch on the following topics: [03:01 - 10:00] – Reflecting on the Past: How Parenting Has Changed [10:01 - 17:00] – The Challenge of Parenting Without a Model [17:01 - 25:00] – Understanding Triggers and Emotional Reactivity [25:01 - 32:00] – Rewriting the Parenting Narrative [32:01 - 38:00] – Structural Challenges and Societal Expectations [38:01 - 45:00] – Embracing Growth and Change in Parenting I’d love to hear your thoughts on this conversation! DM me on Instagram @heycarlyely If you’re interested in learning more about working with me, reach out on IG or email me at [email protected]

In this insightful episode, we sit down with Zach Watson, self-identified recovering man-child and invisible labor educator, to discuss the concept of cognitive load in households and how men can step up to create more equitable partnerships. Zach shares his personal journey, the importance of self-awareness, and practical steps to implement fair play and reduce the mental load on partners.[2:46] - Discovering the Manchild Trait:Zach recounts being called a manchild and how he embraced his playful nature.The realization of the negative aspects of being a manchild in 2022.[5:15] - The Awakening:Reading the Fair Play book and learning about invisible labor, mental load, and emotional labor.Recognizing how much he wasn’t contributing despite thinking he was.[8:30] - Performative Housework:The concept of performative housework and the discrepancy between online perception and real-life contributions.Alyssa’s role in helping Zach realize the difference between actual help and performative tasks.[11:16] - Men's Traditional Roles and Mental Load:Discussion on the traditional male mindset and the evolving understanding of household roles.Challenges men face in understanding and taking on mental load.[12:01] - Client Demographics and Challenges:Most men come to Zach’s program via their partners.The misconception that the program is a fix rather than a development of skills.[15:00] - Improving Vocabulary and Awareness:Developing awareness of mental and emotional labor.The importance of understanding the full scope of household chores beyond just the physical tasks.[18:00] - Creating Multiple-Choice Scenarios:Practical advice on reducing mental load by providing options and default answers.The analogy of making household decisions like solving math problems.[19:29] - Weaponized Incompetence:Differentiating between incompetence and weaponized incompetence.The need for nuanced language to better articulate these behaviors.[26:13] - Bringing Awareness and Communication:The challenges women face in articulating the mental load.The importance of men understanding the underlying reasons for certain household tasks.[30:53] - Weekly Meetings:The significance of having regular meetings to discuss household responsibilities and emotional needs.Creating a safe space for iterative improvement and accountability.[35:47] - Managing Defensiveness:Strategies for managing defensiveness and improving communication in relationships.The benefits of having an external coach to guide the conversations.[40:00] - The Boring Meeting Concept:How the boring meeting helps couples handle logistical and emotional issues.Examples of how this approach has helped Zach and Alyssa in their own household.[45:43] - Delineating Tasks and Preferences:Tips for getting on the same page emotionally and practically in household management.The importance of understanding each other’s preferences and reasons behind certain tasks.[50:55] - Emotional Regulation and Accountability:The role of emotional regulation in handling household responsibilities.How Zach helps clients stay accountable through regular check-ins and meetings.This episode is packed with practical insights and transformative concepts that can help you navigate invisible labor and improve household equity. Tune in now to learn how to c