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Becoming UnDone

Toby Brooks
Becoming UnDone
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  • 130 | Jacyln Emery: Navigating Identity and Resilience Beyond College Basketball's End
    About the GuestJaclyn Emery is a high school athletic trainer working at McKinney Boyd High School, just outside of Dallas, Texas. She has an extensive background as a multi-sport athlete, having excelled in basketball and track during high school and continued to play basketball at the collegiate level at Hardin-Simmons University. Jaclyn is passionate about advocating for student-athletes and helping them transition through the challenges of their sports careers. Alongside her professional responsibilities, Jaclyn is also building a significant presence on social media, sharing insights on athletic training and her experiences as an athletic mom.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks talks to Jaclyn Emery, a high school athletic trainer whose personal journey sheds light on the complexities of ending a sports career and redefining one's identity post-sport. The conversation begins with Jaclyn discussing her early years as an athlete, where she excelled in basketball, dreaming of playing for elite teams like UConn and pursuing a career in the WNBA. As life unfolded, she found herself at Hardin-Simmons University, balancing her athletic career with her educational pursuits in athletic training. Jaclyn shares the intense pressure she faced, the challenges of a coaching change during her college years, and how her competitive spirit powered her through those difficult times.Throughout the episode, Jaclyn reflects on the key moments that shaped her outlook on life beyond basketball. She candidly shares how the unexpected end of her college sports career due to a coaching change was a pivotal moment that required emotional resilience and introspection. Her experiences have fueled her passion for helping young athletes navigate personal challenges and maintain a balanced identity that goes beyond sports. Toby and Jaclyn also delve into the broader implications of athletic identity, touching upon the significance of mental health and the crucial support networks that bolster athletes during transitions.Key TakeawaysThe transition out of sports requires a redefinition of personal identity, moving beyond being solely an athlete.Supportive relationships, including family and mentors, play a crucial role in navigating challenging transitions.Mental health is a key consideration for athletes and should not be overlooked amidst physical training and achievement.The role of athletic trainers goes beyond physical care, assisting athletes in managing emotional and mental challenges.Personal setbacks and experiences can fuel one's passion to serve and guide others facing similar challenges.Notable Quotes"Basketball was really where my passion was. I liked the pumpkin thump, thump.""It was the hardest year of my life, I can tell you that.""My dad having a conversation at the dinner table… said, you can be a mom and still be a former athlete.""God works in weird ways. That little voice was saying, it's okay, it's good.""You never know what's going on between that kid's ears."Resources:Jaclyn Emery's Social Media: Instagram: Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  • 129 | Part 15: Celebrating Coach Dick Tomey’s Legacy of Leadership and Love
    About the HostToby Brooks is a dedicated podcaster and storyteller, passionate about exploring the human story behind success and adversity. Known for his insightful and compelling docuseries, Toby seeks to uncover life lessons from influential figures across various domains, including sports, leadership, and personal growth. His podcast, "Becoming Undone," delves deep into transformative journeys and provides listeners with valuable insights into overcoming challenges.Episode SummaryIn this heartfelt finale of the docuseries on Coach Dick Tomey, Toby Brooks ties together the narratives of leadership, resilience, and the indelible impact of coaching beyond the confines of the football field. As Toby navigates through listener interactions and personal reflections, he highlights the profound influence of Coach Tomey on countless athletes, coaches, and individuals enriched by his legacy.This episode dissects the core values instilled by Coach Dick Tomey, such as leadership, loyalty, and culture-building, which transcended his remarkable career achievements. Toby Brooks delves into lessons learned throughout the series, emphasizing the legacy left by Dick Tomey that continues to inspire both in sports and life. Through compelling anecdotes and interviews with former players and colleagues, the narrative crafts a blueprint of purpose-driven leadership, illustrating how Tomey's vision cultivated a lasting legacy of character and connection.Key TakeawaysLeadership Beyond Titles: Dick Tomey exemplified that true leadership is about trust and making individuals feel valued, rather than relying solely on positional authority.Building Belief Through Belonging: Tomey’s coaching philosophy centered on creating a sense of belonging before instilling belief, fostering environments where athletes could thrive personally and professionally.Legacy of Loyalty: Tomey’s unwavering loyalty to his team and community highlighted the importance of commitment over personal advancement.Cultural Architect: Through his approach to team culture, Tomey established an ethos of relentless effort and unity that laid the foundation for success.Notable Quotes“People perform best when they feel like they're part of something that values them as individuals first.”“Belief can be the seed, not the fruit; let it tip the balance for someone to start believing too.”“His loyalty inspired theirs…it’s about commitment to a place and a people, even a contentment, but never a complacency.”“Culture shapes behavior when no one is watching, setting the standard for how people treat one another.”“True impact isn't about how many people know your name; it's about how many lives you can make better.”Resources:Becoming Undone Podcast: Listen to more episodes here.Contact Toby Brooks: Email - [email protected] Naturals: bubsnaturals.com/undoneDive into the complete episode to experience the full journey encapsulated in Coach Tomey's legacy, and stay tuned for mReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  • 128 | Surviving a Nightmare: John Ulsh's Journey from Tragedy to Purpose
    About the GuestJohn Ulsh is an inspiring public speaker, author, and survivor who has transformed personal tragedy into a powerful mission of resilience and motivation. At 37, John's life dramatically changed following a nearly fatal car accident involving his entire family. Despite undergoing over 45 surgeries and extensive rehabilitation, John emerged with a renewed sense of purpose. Now, he dedicates his life to inspiring others as a motivational speaker and author of his book,  The Upside of Down, while balancing his career in real estate and his family life in Pennsylvania.Episode SummaryIn this compelling episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with John Ulsh, whose life was irrevocably changed by a devastating car accident. With unyielding courage and resilience, John recounts the physical and emotional barriers he overcame after the collision that nearly claimed his and his family's lives. John's journey to recovery, marked by over 45 surgeries, serves as a testament to human perseverance. He shares how he turned immense pain into purpose, aiding his transformation from adversity towards helping others facing their own "purpose storms."Throughout the episode, John explores the deeply personal psychological journey he undertook en route to recovery, including suffering from survivor's guilt and battling narcotic dependency. He introduces key concepts such as finding meaning through serving others, embracing the process over the finish line, and being intentional in the face of life's upheavals. Both Toby and John reflect on the delicate balance between humility and the imperative to share one's story to uplift and inspire others with its authenticity. This conversation not only inspires, but also equips listeners with tangible strategies for overcoming their own life obstacles.Key TakeawaysThe importance of community and support systems in navigating severe trauma and recovery.The role of intentional decision-making in shifting from survival to recovery and thriving.Finding new purpose and contributing to others' healing as a means to heal oneself.Overcoming psychological barriers like survivor's guilt and the complexity of mental health issues post-trauma.The power of physical fitness and setting intentions in reclaiming control over one's life and body.Notable Quotes"I survived, only to have to undergo years of intensive rehab and over 45 surgeries and counting.""Somewhere in that nursing home, I kind of realized I wasn't going to die. Now somewhere in the nursing home, I started wishing I would have died.""I miss my old daddy, the one who would come out and train with me.""In the end, it's this constant, like I was battling it today…to how much to let things pull you and how much to push it."Resources:John Ulsh's WebsiteJohn Ulsh on InstagramReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  • 127 | The Life, Lessons, and Legacy of Dick Tomey Part 14: The Untold Love Story of Coach Tomey & Nanci Kincaid
    About the GuestNanci Kincaid is a celebrated novelist known for her emotionally resonant storytelling and authentic voice. She gained notable acclaim for her book Balls, published in 1998, which offers insights into the life of coaches' wives. Nanci was married to the late legendary coach Dick Tomey, whose coaching career spanned several successful programs, including Hawaii, Arizona, and San Jose State. Nanci has been an influential voice among spouses of sports professionals, providing a unique perspective from the sidelines of major college football. Her insights into life with a prominent coach and her own career as an author make her a compelling storyteller and personality.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with Nanci Kincaid, the widow of iconic football coach Dick Tomey, to explore the legacy and lessons left by her late husband. Known for transforming underdog teams into contenders, Coach Tomey's leadership style was both demanding and compassionate, a hallmark of his illustrious career. His driving belief that "great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible" embodies his approach to coaching and life. Nanci shares memories and insights from their life together, painting an intimate portrait of a man who, despite the demands of a high-stakes profession, maintained deep personal connections and a commitment to character-building.The episode delves into the challenges of the 2000s season, a pivotal point in Coach Tomey’s career, capturing the emotional weight of leading through difficult times. Nanci recounts how Tomey's belief in forgiveness, optimism, and continual growth helped both him and his teams succeed against odds. From discussions on leadership principles to personal anecdotes about life beyond the field, this episode offers a profound exploration of the values that Dick Tomey instilled not just in his players, but everyone around him. The conversation encapsulates the essence of maintaining cultural integrity, choosing happiness as a decision, and the significance of leaving a legacy defined by love and loyalty.Key TakeawaysLegacy of Leadership: Coach Dick Tomey's leadership style was marked by compassion, forgiveness, and a commitment to developing character in his players.Life Beyond Football: For Coach Tomey, football was not only about winning games but was a medium to teach important life lessons and foster personal growth.Resilience Through Challenges: The 2000 season was a testament to Tomey's resilience and ability to remain focused on team and individual values amidst professional turmoil.The Power of Forgiveness: One of Tomey’s greatest strengths was his ability to forgive, enabling others to grow and learn from their mistakes without fear of retribution.Cultural Impact: Coach Tomey's influence went beyond his formal coaching role, as he developed lasting relationships and left a timeless legacy in multiple communities.Notable Quotes"Great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible." – Nanci Kincaid"I'm a learner. And that was the most romantic feeling thing I had ever heaReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  • 126 | The Impact of a Purpose Storm: Transforming Loss into New Beginnings
    About the HostToby Brooks is an introspective speaker, coach, and author with experience in helping high-performance athletes and high achievers from diverse industries such as the arts, military, and entrepreneurship to navigate significant transitions in their lives. Through his personal journey from being an athlete to becoming a mentor and coach, Toby developed a keen insight into the identity shifts that accompany career and life changes. He has developed the UN.D.O.N.E. (tm) coaching model, aimed at helping individuals rebuild their lives and careers from the inside out.Episode SummaryIn this podcast episode, Toby Brooks explores the deep emotional journey many face as they transition from roles that once defined them. As someone who once sat in a locker room dealing with the loss of his identity as an athlete, Toby draws parallels between his experience and the struggles others face when their professional or personal identities change. He delves into what he terms "purpose storms," moments when individuals must confront the daunting question of who they are now that their previous roles have ended.The episode further unpacks the journey of self-discovery and identity evolution. Toby highlights that losing an identity, whether it's as an athlete, a military leader, or a corporate executive, does not mean an end but rather a shift towards becoming something new. Using the story of Olympian Michael Phelps, he illustrates the profound impact identity loss can have and the need to grieve one's past identity to embrace new opportunities. This thoughtful discourse also introduces Toby's own UN.D.O.N.E. Method (tm), a framework for personal growth and transformation designed to guide people through significant life shifts with intention and courage.Key Takeaways:Identity transitions are a common and challenging experience that many people face, irrespective of their profession or achievement level.Experiencing the end of a significant role or identity can lead to a deep period of introspection referred to as "purpose storms."Grieving past identities is essential to moving forward and embracing new opportunities and roles in life.The "Undone Method," Toby Brooks' coaching model, offers a structured approach to navigating personal and professional transitions.Identity does not disappear with the loss of a role; it evolves, and with support, the shift can lead to new, fulfilling paths.Notable Quotes:"Endings aren't just about what stops. They're about what shifts.""Identity doesn't evaporate. It evolves.""You might not be the athlete anymore, but maybe you're the mentor, the coach, the author, the entrepreneur.""You have to grieve the old before you can greet the new.""Even when it feels like it's over, it might just be the beginning."Resources:Toby Brooks' Website: tobyjbrooks.comTune in to the full episode to engage with Toby Brooks' insightful journey and learn more about navigating life's transitions. Stay tuned for more compelling discussions on identity, purpose, and transformation in upcoming episodes.Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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About Becoming UnDone

Becoming UnDone: Where High Achievers Turn Setbacks into Comebacks. Join Dr. Toby Brooks as he guides you through the art of transforming unfinished goals into unstoppable growth, one inspiring story at a time.Achievers aim high, but to fall short is fundamentally human. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we simply run out of time. Either way, it is what we do with the end of one chapter that can make all the difference in the next. Do we fall apart at the seams, coming undone to be forever branded as someone who lost? Or do we see the fuller picture, recognizing that the task remains unfinished and understanding that the end of a chapter isn't the same as the end of the story. Becoming UnDone is the podcast for those who dare bravely, try mightily, and grow relentlessly. Join author, speaker, and host Dr. Toby Brooks as he invites a new guest each episode to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling in place.https://linktr.ee/tobyjbrooks
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