Soft Skills Engineering

• Episode 445: Staying at my first job and my coworker is insulting other departments

  In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: A listener named Kevin asks, Hey, found the show and really enjoy it! Been listening from the beginning and have noticed that one of the pieces of advice given is that you should not stay at your first job for too long, because it’s more likely that you’ve not found the best job for you. I think The Secretary Problem is the closest thing being cited. I tend to agree with the math, but I’m still at my first software engineering job after 5 years and don’t really want to leave. There are obviously things I don’t particularly like or people I find challenging, but for the most part, I work on interesting projects with smart people, it’s fully remote, the benefits are great, and my salary is comfortable. There have been times where I started to look for another job, only to have my current circumstances improve enough that I stopped the search. What advice do you have for someone like me? I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’ve managed to get married, buy a house, and just recently had our first baby. The pressure to provide and be conservative with my career is building. Again, love the show and I hope you’ll get to answering this before I catch up. I started from the beginning in late 2024, and in mid Jan 2025, I’m just past episode 50. I’ll let you do the math. As a tech lead, I joined a project two years in the making which had only one engineer doing everything, including management. In the two years, only a POC has been completed and a “pre MVP-MVP” build is in progress. There is a hangup though, the funding for the project is supposed to come from another departments budget that doesn’t want it, and work was committed by the department I am in, and a third department intended to be completed by the end of the quarter. I have been trying to finesse my teammate into cancelling the project or at least allow a resetting of expectations. My manager agrees with me. There seems to be a tug of war between AVPs and Directors. This has led my teammate to make some corporate aggressive comments. These are being directed in many directions, including department heads opposing the project. In your professional space experience, how can I help my teammate with understanding that his tactics are potentially damaging to his reputation and the project?

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• Episode 444: Surrounded by apathetic coworkers and put it on my resume?

  In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: After a decade as a Senior front-end engineer in companies stuck in legacy ways of working—paying lip service to true agility while clinging to control-heavy, waterfall practices—I’m frustrated and exhausted by meetings and largely apathetic, outsourced teams who don’t match my enthusiasm for product-thinking or improving things. It seems allowed and normalised everywhere I go. How can I escape this cycle of big tech, unfulfilled as an engineer, and find a team with a strong product engineering culture where I can do high-impact work with similarly empowered teams? Thank you, and sorry if this is a bit verbose! Thanks guys. Martin ‌ How do you judge your competency in a technical skill and when should you include it on your resume? Should you include a skills that you haven’t used in a while, skills you’ve only used in personal projects, or skills that you feel you only have a basic understanding of? I’m a frontend developer and I’ve seen some job descriptions include requirements (not nice-to-haves) like backend experience, Java, CI/CD, and UI/UX design using tools like Figma and Photoshop. I could make designs or write the backend code for a basic CRUD app, but it would take me some time, especially if I’m building things from scratch. I’ve seen some resumes where the writer lists a bunch of programming languages and technical skills, and I often wonder if they truly are competent in all of those skills.

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• Episode 443: Does my PM hate me? and My coworker has anxiety when I help

  In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I think my team’s PM might hate me. Hate is exaggerating, but they often will give public praise to other members of my team on work they’ve done, and seem to be pretty friendly with others, but I have never gotten the same treatment. I have also not gotten negative feedback from them in the 3 years we’ve worked together, so I don’t really have any information to go off of here. I don’t need everyone to like me, but it feels weird to see someone act nice with everyone else and relatively cold with me. I get along pretty well with everyone else on the team, too. Would you do anything in this situation or just try to ignore it? I’m a newly minted senior engineer and frequently pair with other more junior engineers to help them when they run into issues. Along with my company-provided senior engineer hat, my manager has asked me to try to take on more of a vested role in mentoring other engineers. One engineer I regularly assist seems to have anxiety issues. When I start reviewing their code or ask them about their debugging steps, they almost always start the conversation by telling me they’re nervous. I usually reassure them that we’re all teammates, we have a shared goal and there’s no judgement - only a desire to help them resolve whatever issue they’re encountering. While this does help somewhat, they continue to show clear signs of anxiety. I’ve also noticed the same behavior during team code reviews. They’ve been here for over a year, and I feel bad that they still seem to be struggling. I’d like to offer some sort of suggestion or guidance. What’s the best way to approach this? Would recommending therapy be out of line? Should I talk to my manager, or would it be better to leave it alone entirely?

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• Episode 442: Improving communication skills and how to break my job hopping habit

  In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I would like your advice on how I can improve my communication skills. I realize that practicing is usually the best way, but I am interested in taking online courses or learning more on becoming a better communicator. However, I am currently taking courses in CS and would like to primarily focus on that. I’m wondering what your thought are, especially when it comes to investing time in either a community college or online extension course. I have to make a confession. I am a job hopper, never staying longer at a job than a year. I am getting bored quickly, I always get the feeling of the grass is greener on the other side and I keep finding myself distracted from my current job always thinking of the next step, the next job, the next big thing. This feeling is a double edged sword. On the one hand I know that I am aware that this repeated behaviour is not sustainable and healthy. On the other hand it helped me progress extremely in my career and climb the ladder quickly and now after five years of experience I landed at big tech in my dream job role. But I still get this old feeling of planning the next thing, finding myself distracted and losing interest and not being satisfied. I want to stay at the job and keep earning the big bucks for my family. What can I do to get rid of the grass is greener syndrome?

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  31:45
• Episode 441: Will working in healthcare hurt my reputation and precious wisdom

  In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I’m currently in the interviewing pipeline for an engineering position at a fairly large healthcare company. In light of the recent events surrounding UnitedHealthcare, there’s been renewed criticism towards the insurance industry as whole. I was interested in this position and the work culture seems good, but now I’m having second thoughts. If I were to accept an offer from this company, could it somehow negatively affect my career or reputation? I feel like I’m worrying over nothing, but let me know your thoughts. Also, hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you received a job offer at a company that recently had negative press? Hi! I’m an internal applications engineer, and after a couple of years of propping up a couple of different small and midsized companys’ intranets with duct tape and cardboard, digging through old, unmaintained code that nonetheless runs the business, and trying to decipher the intentions and reasonings of the Developers Who Came Before, I have landed what is perhaps the dream position: the primary internal applications developer at my new company is retiring, and the business has hired me on such that we have a few months for said senior developer to catch me up and hand things off. I’ve been brought through the basics; how to troubleshoot day-to-day misshaps, which clients need to be handled with care, and I’ve been shown the excel workbook that will make the finance department explode if it’s edited incorrectly. What other non-technical questions should I ask my senior before he leaves? Thanks and thanks also for an awesome show!

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