S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response ft. Anwar White
What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them?
Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs.
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth.
This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story.
🔗 Follow Anwar
https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwar
Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvj
Checkout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/
Want more Lover?
Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com
Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
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S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft. Decisions Decisions
In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex.
WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their relationships with men in their community.
Follow Weezy: @weezywtf
Follow Mandii B: @fullcourtpumps
Tour Dates: https://nhbtour.com/
Get their book: https://a.co/d/8VY8Tje
Follow Binx: @the_binx
Follow Vincent aka Hands of Furey:
Learn more about him: http://www.handsoffurey.com/
Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community
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S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with High-Functioning Depression ft. Dr. Judith Joseph
What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression?
In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate.
They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our biopsychosocial blueprint.
Expect insights on:
✨ How high-functioning depression operates
✨ Why anhedonia is so often overlooked
✨ The three-part psycho-socio-biological model that explains it
✨ How to begin reconnecting with your desire and vitality
👑 Follow Dr. Judith Joseph on Instagram: instagram.com/drjudithjoseph
👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community
Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me loversbyshan.com/newsletter
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S2 Ep125: Kama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know ft. Seema Anand
What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge?
In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really been a modern idea.
Together, they unpack what it means to reconnect with your desire through ancestry, ritual, and unapologetic self-expression. We talk sex positions (yes, the Kama Sutra makes an appearance), the role of storytelling in the bedroom, and how wearing your desire, literally, can be one of the boldest, most freeing things you do.
This conversation even inspired a whole jewelry line. The Kama Collection is a tribute to sensuality, intention, and the art of not hiding your hunger.
👑 Follow Seema Anand on Instagram: @seemaanandstorytelling
🔥 Shop the Kama Collection: surmeyi.com/kama
The waist chain designed for being on top
The anklet designed for when your legs are in the air
The necklace designed for yab yum
The earrings designed for riding
The choker designed for lotus position
The spine chain designed for doggystyle
👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community
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S2 Ep124: He Was Never Going To Commit And Here's Why ft. Duckwrth
Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it.
Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity.
Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional avoidance to developing a deeper sense of self-awareness and desire for real connection.
If you’ve ever dated a fuckboy, been affected by one, or are reflecting on your own relationship patterns, this one’s for you.
🎧 Watch the video for Permanent Vacation
💫 Follow Duckwrth on Instagram: @duckwrth
👥 Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community
Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.
Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.
When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
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